Indiana Brian and The Kingdom of the Confusing Movies / Caption Contest Winner

Am I right?  Was Indiana Jones 4 not the most weirdly confusing movie of the year?  I’m still trying to figure out how the raving lunatic Oxley managed to escape the asylum, get the skull he’d stashed, and then return it to the weird burlap pods with the conquistadors in them.  Or is that what he did?  There was so much damned EXPLAINING going on that I couldn’t follow it.  The film itself was as bad special effects-wise as The Temple of Doom and even more dry.  They should’ve stopped on an up-note with Last Crusade, it would’ve been much better.  Really, why the hell does Spielberg always have to slip a UFO in his movies?  It’s getting really tired.  And Shia LeBouf swinging around on vines like Tarzan?  WTF??

Those ants were cool though.

Did anyone else dislike Indy 4 as much as I did?

On to other news, the winner of the first-ever caption contest is: Rog!  Good job, Rog.  Comparing the guys to Queen was a master stroke.  Come claim your prize which is…bragging rights.  Stay tuned for more caption contests in the future.


8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Mark Heading said,

    You are definately right. This was not one of the best movies I have seen. He has plenty of special effects in it but it didn’t do anything for me.

    The ads for were very good, but the movie was a let down. And, the thing with the aliens in the end was pretty weird.

    Don’t know how many other people were not impressed but I wasn’t very impressed with the movie at all.

  2. 2

    I had a group of friends go see it, they asked “You’re not coming are ya?” They know me so well.

    However, they said ‘Be glad you stayed at home’.

    I can’t keep up with it, but I couldn’t keep up with Stars Wars everybody’s all time favorite.

    Can we say ‘The Stepfather?’ Now I would fly across the world to watch another flick of him – crazy!

    Hope you’re having a wonderful Sunday!

  3. 3

    spinachflame said,

    Thanks, coffeestainednews, I hope you had a great weekend too. The movie was just way too convoluted with “then he did this, then he went there” explanations for everything that ultimately made the film way too confusing. Indy spent half the movie explaining what he was doing: “I’m going to decode this ancient Mayan text that can be seen in ancient stone monuments from the air where the Mayans thought only the gods could see them.” What??? There’s a major character named Oxley and I can’t even tell you what happened to him. I’m guessing he went insane due to the strong magnetic fields emitted by the crystal skull he stole, but it’s so opaque that I don’t even think the screenplay writer knows exactly what he’s talking about. And then there’s this friend of Indy’s, Mac, who turns out to be a double-agent for the Russians, then no, he’s a triple agent against the Russians! Then no, turns out he was lying about being a triple agent.

    And the scene with Shia swinging on the vines like Tarzan has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.

    Don’t bother seeing it.

  4. 4

    I didn’t see it. I have too much love for the original series. I just couldn’t bear to see my characters exploited simply for the opportunity to introduce a “successor” to the series. I prefer to remember my beloved Indy riding into the sunset with his father and friends at the end of Last Crusade.

    The original series was on tv this week/weekend, and I managed to catch most of it and was reminded what good films they really were – I wish action movies could go back to being this solid. They were epic adventures, but they never got too caught up in special effects…great movies.

  5. 5

    spinachflame said,

    I wish I hadn’t seen it, which is saying a lot because just like you 1979semifinalist, I loved the original three movies. I wanted so badly to see this one. I actually thought the previews looked really good. And the first forty-five or so minutes are awesome, but after that it just gets worse and worse to the point of abject unbelievability. I recommended one of my friends see it on DVD, but I should’ve added that he should only do so if he can somehow force himself to have no expectations. I imagine if you had no expectations of this movie, if it, say, had been the first in a series of brand new movies, something about it would be cool. I don’t understand how it’s made so much money, but because it has I’m sure we’ll see more crap Indy movies in the future. I only hope that this is a re-run of what happened after Temple of Doom, a universally hated movie, when Last Crusade came in and knocked everyone’s socks off. Anyway, hope you had a good weekend.

  6. 6

    Fi said,

    I found it strange, very strange.
    It was not too bad until the end (except it seemed as though they were trying to fit in the plot amongst the action scenes, and failing) but when the spaceship appeared, my head was ringing with “what the…?”

    As my friend summed it up: “Basically, they’re saying if you’re a communist, you’ll get sent to another dimension.”

    Okie doke.

    I like your pictures.

  7. 7

    spinachflame said,

    I couldn’t agree more. I thought the whole ‘Russian being blown into another dimension’ part was pretty much in keeping with Spielberg’s penchant for having tyrannical people meet grotesque ends in the Indy films. But the spaceship thing, man — it was like they ran out of ideas and said, “Hey, let’s put a spaceship in the movie.”

    And thanks for your kind words about the drawings.

  8. 8

    Allison said,

    Yes, it was awful! I blame Lucas 🙂

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