If I could have the swing voters’ attention for just a moment? That’s right, sit down. I’ll wait. Do you want anything to drink? There’s a Pepsi in the fridge. All set? Ahem. Don’t be crazy come November, OK? Let’s go ahead and vote for Barack Obama and stop giving all the level-headed, reasonable people heart attacks. I’ve got to hand it to you though, swing voters: you really know how to ramp up the tension. You’ve got me on the edge of my seat over here. If this were a movie I’d be like, “Man, this movie was SO worth the $10 I paid.” But you know what? It’s not a movie. This is actual real life.
I seriously don’t get swing voters in this election. Is the right answer not so clearly obvious? Seriously, anyone who’s undecided, or anyone who knows an undecided voter, please give me some insight into your (or their) thought process on being on the fence in light of two candidates with such unbelievably stark differences.